235 days until my fiancé and I “tie the knot.”
That’s 33 weeks and 4 days, or about 8 months— incase you were wondering (I have become really good at counting backwards since getting engaged).
Fun Fact: Patience is very difficult for me.
Shortly after my fiancé and I became engaged four months ago, people started asking me when the Big Day was going to be. My reply has been met with varying reactions…
There was the, “Wow, that’s quick!” reaction. There has also been the, “Oh, why are you waiting so long?” reaction. And I’ve also had several of the, “Oh that’s a perfect amount of time to plan a wedding,” reactions.
To be perfectly honest though, my feelings (and those of my fiancé) often are much more in line with the second reaction. It feels incredible to know and be planning for getting married, but at the same time, 8 months can feel like an awfully long time away from now. We got engaged for a reason—we want to be married! So what’s the deal with all the waiting??
While yes, it does take a lot of preparation, time, and of course a good chunk of money to plan a wedding, we didn’t necessarily choose a 1-year-engagement because we were trying to ensure the perfectly planned and executed party. We chose a date that made sense for a number of reasons and we started planning.
In other words: the date is on the calendar; the church and reception sites are booked with actual money; thus, we are stuck with December 22nd.
Realizing that fact is actually very liberating (once I convince myself that whining won’t help the date come any sooner and reflect on the fact that God probably had us pick this date for a reason). There is nothing I can do to make my wedding come sooner. It’s not sad; it’s just the way it is. Just like there may be nothing you can do right now to make summer break come any sooner. Or just like there may be nothing you can do right now to know with absolute certainty what God is calling you to do next year. As Christians, we just have to live in this moment with our eyes fixed on God; and trust that everything else will fall into place.
So as for me, all I can do is live within God’s love and trust in the fact that He intends to use every last one of these 235 days to prepare Tyler and me for the sacrament of marriage. And I guess that is pretty neat. 🙂
Delurking to tell you what you’ve probably heard a million times: it flies by so quickly! My husband (2 weeks!) and I were engaged for just under 6 months and it felt like an eternity. But now, on the other side, it feels like just a short while. So right, though: use the engagement period to go deeper in your relationship with your fiance and with God. It’s awesome. Many blessings.
I totally relate to everything you said in this post! I actually got engaged about a month after you did (and we’re getting married in one month and one year :-). It’s definitely a great feeling once you get your date set and I’m so excited to start marriage prep. I’ll pray for you while I’m praying for patience for myself. 🙂
Thanks for sharing! If you’re comfortable sharing more about your wedding as the date approaches, I’d love to hear how you’re incorporating Advent since you’ll be married before Christmas. (Just to make it clear: this is not a passive-aggressive comment about the parish’s rules on scheduling weddings; I genuinely want to know.)
I too just got engaged and the soonest we could manage it for a couple reasons is April 2013! It’s been really hard thinking of how we still have almost a year left to go! So thanks for this post…We’re definitely trying to make the most of these 13 months to prepare for the sacrament of marriage. 🙂
My fiancé and I got engaged last June. May 26th 2012 is our date. I remember counting down the days from the 200 marks and now I have 22 days until we join together in bringing a strong example of young catholic marriage to the world! We were both 19 when we got engaged and we were talked out of our plan for a six month engagement. I completely agree when you said “We got engaged for a reason—we want to be married! So what’s the deal with all the waiting??” This is exactly how both of us feel however our age works against us. Love the article! =)
What a wonderful day to get married. My husband and I also got married on December 22, 2001. We now have 10 great years together and are looking forward to a hundred more. And the best thing about getting married at Christmas, (besides it Christmas) almsot every church and hall is decorated for FREE!!!! I based my colors of my wedding on the colors of the church and the hall. It was perfect! Good Luck and congrats
I know I am an old fart but me and my wife were engaged for about 18 months (don’t remember exactly). Engagement is not intended to be the wedding planning period (although the planning must be done) It should be the time when you let go of the infatuation and idealization of the marriage ideal and really look at what it will be like to live 24/7 with this person. That is what marriage prep courses should be about (have you talked finances, what about children, how do you view the practice of faith… ). This is the step many couples skip or think love will take care of. Counting the days is hard but being prepared is even harder if you (meaning people in general) are not willing to face the reality of who you and your love are and how you will make a go of becoming one. When we went to our parish to try to sign up of prep classes we were told we had to have a date first. We said we will not set a date until we attend the classes. We ended up having to go through the diocese – the parish would not allow it.
Congratulations! I’m counting down too… Today is 199 days until I marry my best friend. The trusting that everything is going to fall into place thing… that’s the hard part for me. My fiance and I have been engaged since June 1, 2010. Patience isn’t easy for me either! But I trust in Christ’s plan for us and our future life together. He brought us together, why do I worry?
I will be praying for you, your future spouse, and your upcoming marriage!